Why I feel secure…

By Harish Trivedi,
© 2011

Your Editor says -

"For the first time, (as they say 'in my life' ) I feel secure like never before...."

* An insurance company is 'by my side',

* Another insurance company keeps telling me, 'State Farm is there...’ My problem is I do not know where 'there' is?

* A local TV channel keeps saying, 'On Your side', sometimes I get up in the middle of the night and instead of the lovely 'weather girl' (do they still use the term 'Weather Girl') I find my cat trying to get on the better part of my comforter,

* Since I wear the medical alert, I know if I

'fall and cannot get up'

some one will come and help me get up. This is something I am tempted to try... I am, according to some religious leaders already 'a fallen soul’ I wonder if the ‘bracelet people’ would help me get up...

* I know everything, I happen happen to have the entire 'Idiot's guide to....' books,

* My cereal contains 'daily required amount of fiber' so I don't have to chew on rug to alleviate any fiber deficiency.

* My yogurt contains the antioxidants that are good for me,

* My coffee is 'caffeine free’...

* I get more than required amount of BS from the TV talk shows and the talking heads...

* I have learned to live with socio-psychological issues from Dr. Phil,

* I know whom to call if I ever develop any symptoms of Mesothelioma, (even though the TV commercials do not say if one can developed the symptoms by being exposed to such commercials over a number of years...)

* The Ohio law has made it simple, only two individual needs to sign a statement that says, 'He is dangerous to him and needs to be confined....’ I know the 'missej' and my niece are ready to use that legal provision any time they think I am dangerous to myself - that happens to be all the time...so I am waiting for guys with straight-jacket'....

And finally (that is how such things are written), so And finally -

One more time - 'Again, as they say, having so many friends, who needs enemies?'